We All Know How to Find Our True Calling

The problem is, though most of us knew how to find our true calling early on, multiple factors beat it out of us, confined us otherwise, or taught us that what we really wanted to do with our lives, was worthless.

Harriet Tubman is known for saying, “Every great dream begins with a dreamer.” But what to do when we’re forced to consider that as adults, most of our dreams (and hopes for personal fulfillment) have died on the vine?

It’s a blessing to have that painful discovery. Most drone on through life with blinders to the end.

For me, dreams are the key to finding fulfillment and an authentic life. As kids, we are encouraged to dream freely and aspire to become astronauts, artists, or superheroes. As a father, I see this being played out every day in my home. As an entrepreneur, I reinforce this by example with my day-to-day. But then I catch myself saying things like, “Hey kids, you’ve got to do the things you have to do before the things you want to do.” Ergo, brushing teeth. Cleaning their rooms. Before going out to play.

“What the hell is my problem?” I think sometimes. I see many adults leading miserable lives because they “have to pay the bills but really want to captain a boat.” This gives me the chills. Is this where it all falls apart?

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

John C. Maxwell reminds us, “Dreams don’t work unless you do.”

So to the dreamers out there who have lost their way, who are hiding in the dark, and who are looking for something, anything, to plant the seed of hope or reignite that early spark – I hope that you remind yourself how to find your true calling by the end of this article.

Creative Destruction: Conditioned for Failure

As a young adult, I found myself failing. A lot. But looking back over the years, I identified a pattern of doing things I thought I had to do vs. what I really wanted to be doing (which was being daring – even though I thought I was but wasn’t). Shit.

Society wants convention & order. It forces all of us through that sausage grinder. But eventually, we have a choice to make.

I’m not a conspiracy theorist or pretending to be Neo in The Matrix. But we’re all born into this world. With its rhythms and rules and philosophies and procedures. That part isn’t our fault. And I don’t think its our fault if we’re stamped out into a perfect cookie either. We are designed to be impressionable. We are designed to learn.

The problem is, we typically take on a lot of the pre-existing generational garbage that isn’t really authentic to our life.

We have to do whatever we can to reset that clock.

I’m a career mentor & business coach, and I get to speak on webinars and chat forums. I also teach the foundational principles of success in a workshop that my peers convinced me to create. In one discussion, I pointed out that without realizing it, we’re conditioned for failure – and people went crazy. This phrase rang true for so many.

Why?

As we mature, fate seems to triumph over free will. From a young age, we’re told to follow a particular educational track, secure a stable job, and settle into the routine of adulthood. Along the way, there are pivotal moments where dreams are beaten into submission by societal pressures:

• Educational Conformity: Secondary and higher education, with its focus on standardized testing and uniform curricula, often discourages creativity and divergent thinking. Many students are forced into predefined molds, neglecting their unique talents and aspirations.
• Career Expectations: As we transition into adulthood, we’re subtly guided toward practical career choices. Pay our taxes. Make someone else rich. Then die. WHAT? Pursuing passion and dreams is often sacrificed in favor of financial stability and societal acceptance. A comfort zone you were saddled with for someone else’s benefit. And yes, I hope this is making you angry.
• Peer and Family Pressure: The expectations of peers and family can exert significant influence. Dreams that stray from the norm are often met with skepticism or criticism, leading individuals to second-guess their aspirations. We want to fit in. Even the most iconoclastic of us. So, we give up our hearts an inch at a time.

The big question is, when is enough enough? When do we start to reclaim our authenticity? If you’ve come to this article wondering how to find your true calling, it’s likely due to an enormous amount of confusion and frustration. The good news is, that will become your salve if you let it.

Tony Robbins points out that motivation for this change is driven by inspiration or desperation. For most, it’s the latter with a sprinkle of the former.

Tony Robbins continues: “If you want to take the island, burn the boats.”

What does all that imply? If you want something bad enough, don’t leave yourself an option for any other outcome.

Take a lesson from physics. Objects at rest will stay at rest unless acted on by an outside force.

Phrased to be relevant if you’re wondering how to find your true calling: you’re going to stay stuck until there is something out there greater than what’s become your familiar reality.

Gravity always wins. Is there a force out there strong enough to pull you towards it?

You wouldn’t be reading this if there wasn’t.

Human beings can do amazing things. Don’t believe me? Look up Zion Clark. He has no legs and is faster on the track than his bi-ped competitors. No more excuses. No more whiney bullshit. The pursuit can hurt. And if you aren’t willing to love the hurt, you might be better off staying where you are.

So where do we start when we’re filled with so much self-doubt?

How to Find Your True Calling Step 1: Fight Imposter Syndrome

The journey to rediscover our dreams begins with clearing our minds of societal expectations and rediscovering our true passions. Find five minutes, ten if you can. Grab a journal. Or the note-taker on your phone.

No, this isn’t about affirmations. It’s about stillness. Someone once asked me what I would hear if I just stopped talking. The answer scared me. But it also helped me.

Try that. In a quiet space, sit comfortably. Allow all the thoughts to come and go, whatever they are, like the tide. Water will seek its own level and eventually be still. It may take a few sessions to get to that place because, fair warning, our minds (the conditioned failure part of it) will fight us. Just keep going.

No matter what comes up during those sessions, keep a log. And be curious about it. We are our own wayfinders. You’ll be amazed by what you come up with.

As the mind begins to clear, drop in these ideas from time to time and see what ripples make their way ’round.

• Overcoming Fear: Fear of failure is a common obstacle that prevents us from pursuing our dreams. It’s essential to our mental health to confront these fears, realizing that failure is often a stepping stone to success. So what are you afraid of? Spoiler alert: meeting those demons head-on is the key to your success and personal fulfillment. In the end, you will be better for it.
• Surrounding Yourself with Positivity: Building a support system of like-minded individuals can provide the encouragement needed to rekindle lost dreams. Sharing your aspirations with supportive friends and mentors can make a significant difference.
• Delete Negativity: A corollary to the previous statement. We can only take so much negative weight. Begin the ruthless process of deleting things that don’t serve you. Get out of groups that secretly require you to stay in your comfort zone of fear. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Don’t spend more than 30 minutes on the news or scrolling through social media. When you begin to delete what doesn’t serve, you make space for things that will.

When you can truly own your pain, hopes, dreams, and strengths, you’ll realize that the idea of imposter syndrome is just a construct. It doesn’t exist at all.

If you are an aspiring marketer, copywriter, or SEO interested in effective career development, drop me a line or connect with me on LinkedIn. I’d love to hear from you.

How to Find Your True Calling Step 2: Embrace Your Innate Leader

They say there are leaders, and there are followers. I don’t know. I wrestle with this a lot. I believe we all have leadership potential, and we need to tap into that power to help us get unstuck.

No. You don’t need to be Alexander The Great, but you do need to answer this question for yourself: “What can you do with whatever you’ve got, wherever you are, right now?” You need to punch procrastination right in the face and realize that you don’t need resources to succeed. Don’t play the victim. If you are, go back to Zion Clark.

You need to be resourceful instead.

In other words, it’s important to remember that taking action on your dreams doesn’t always require grand gestures. Start with what you have and gradually work towards your goals:

• Setting Small Goals: Answer this question: What does a win look like to you? Small wins count. Chase them and celebrate them. Don’t forget to log them. In time, you’ll realize that you’ve got a track record of being a winner.
• Continuous Learning: Be willing to learn and adapt as you pursue your dreams. Knowledge is a powerful tool, and constant self-improvement is key to achieving your goals. Whether it’s an article like this, books, mentorships, or anything else, assimilate the best and make it work for you.

Resourcefulness: The epitome of doing what you can with what you have. Cite a moment from your life when you did something you thought you couldn’t but had to. See? You didn’t need anything else. You were enough. You still are.

How to Find Your True Calling Step 3: Hurry The eff UP!

We are all going to die.

As I have said in many of these career development seminars I’m a part of, I would rather the last breath I take to be filled with the thought, “Fuck yeah!” vs. “Fuck no.” No regrets. It’s all left on the table.

This thought has helped me as an agency founder, a friend, a dad, a husband, and so much more. Let’s work our way back to the beginning.

Ultimately, our dreams reflect our deepest desires, and ignoring them can lead to a lifetime of regret. No matter how old you are, you’ve got to ask yourself if you are really living the life you want. Here’s a few other points to consider:

• Regret vs. Fulfillment: At the end of our journey, what will we regret more – not attempting to follow our dreams or the possible failures along the way? Regret for the unfulfilled dreams can weigh heavily on our hearts, knowing that once we shuffle off this mortal coil, no traveler returns. This is our one shot.
• Legacy and Impact: Pursuing our dreams not only fulfills our own lives but can also have a positive impact on the world. Achievements come in many forms, even if it’s helping just one other person. Ask yourself: What secrets or extraordinary things will you take to your grave that others might benefit from? You have something to give.
• The Infinite Potential of Dreams: Dreams have the power to transcend time and shape the course of humanity. Great inventions, works of art, and societal changes have all been born from the aspirations of dreamers who dared to act.

Those points have special meaning to me as a person, business owner, and creator. Nothing comes from nothing. Anything you see exists because someone followed through on bringing it into being. I’m inspired by the world I see around me. So many beautiful things exist because someone, somewhere, did what they could by starting with whatever they had.

The same goes for you. As I’ve already said, you likely know how to find your true calling – and when you think of it – 187M excuses and reasons why you shouldn’t come flooding in. In fact, if you’re looking to pinpoint exactly what it is you want to do and should do – look for the biggest negative reaction from your psyche. The bigger the negative reaction, the more powerful your journey could be – if you only could kick that BS story.

The Final Step In Embracing How to Find Your True Calling

Walt Disney once said, “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Look at that verb: to pursue.

You will fail. You will be afraid. You will get hurt. You will get lost. You will experience all hell breaking loose from all angles – but when you come out the other side – you’ll be the you that you always knew you could be. If you ever wonder what the military is forced to sing while they hike 20 miles in the rain with 80lb packs on their back, this is why. Enjoy what makes you sweat. You’ll be better for it.

I think that’s what is meant by it’s not the destination, it’s the journey. In our lives, it’s all about the process of becoming. The harder the journey – the better you’ll be.

And if the changes that are ahead of you seem daunting – that should excite you.

Your life is worth it. So are the lives that you will undoubtedly touch.

And if you forgot – the clock is ticking. If you’re really stuck – just get up and out of the chair and start going for walks. Or get some crayons and paper. Start coloring your dream life destination.

I hope this article gave you a few good ideas. But remember… ideas can inspire us and that’s great. But they are ultimately worthless until the receiver (that means you) can put them into motion. Put in the time. Make it count. When we reach the end of the road, we can proudly say we lived a life without regrets, a life of fulfillment, and a life that was truly our own.

If you agree, what are you going to do about it?